THE BATTLE O BANDRA LOAN, BY BILL WILKIE

THE BATTLE O ' BANDRA LOAN

circa 1952

Noo, auld lang syne, in Tiddlum’s time, A battle sair was focht,

It’lI nae be in the hist'ry books, Nae important, it wis thocht

But hark tae me this bonny nicht And the story you will hear

0’ deeds sae dastardly employed In September o' that year.

Noo, Sandy Pitt, a Iocal wit Had baked a birthday cake,

And took it tae the Ship Hotel, Some freendship fur tae make

But Dinty Soutar saw the cake, And his taste-buds they did watter

“I widna mind a slice,” quoth he, Wie a 'his usual patter.

“Ye’ll leave the bluidy cake aleen,” Said Sandy wi' the hump

Weel,' ballocks tae yer cake,” said Dlnt, And on the cake did jump

Weel. Sandy lost the rag at this Smacked Dinty sik a cloot

Then big Ed Hunter teen the twa And haved the fechters oot.

Noo . abidy thoucht the fecht was ower The feenish o the rancour,

But Sandy Pitt, an Dinty baith Hid Gin doon, tae the, Anchor

The argument, it started ower. An went f ae bad tae worse.

Then Dinty knocked Jess Watson Ower, Sine she cloored him wi her purse

Weel Sandy picket puir Jess up The atmosphere was terse,

Slne Dinty sneakit up ahint. An' funged puir Sandy’s erse

Weel, that wis it fur Sandy Pitt So, wi a painful moan.

He said, “We will contlnue this AIang the Bandra Loan.”

A date wis set atween the twa, The stramash fur tae settle,

Next Sunday mornin wis the date Fur them to test their mettle.

So, far and near the' word went oot Aroond the country wide.

And wagers they wir pitten doon, Wi 'ten bob on the side.

The Sunday morning dawned sae clear The crowd it did assemble

They'd even cam fae ]owernkirk Tae speculate at the rumble

The Wairds Committee set-up chairs Lull Duncan selt ice-cream

Matt Blues wis selling hot-dogs Wi reed sauce inatween

The combatants they did appear Amid a cheering howl

Big Dinty wi' his poetry book Sandy wi’ his mixin bowl.

Sandy opened wi' a flick O' last nicht’s pancake batter

But Dinty he jist " jook’ t awa, An wis only grazed wi' splatter.

Sine, Dinty opened up his book, And Pitt went intae spasm,

As Dinty coontered wi’ a line O’ really low sarcasm

Weel, Sandy wisna set fur this And they fair thoucht he wis gone,

But sine oor Sandy' ,he hit back Wi a weel- delivered scone.

The battle raged fur twa hale oors Advantage to and fro,

Till Jeannie Thompson steppit in An stopped the blow for blow

“ I'll hae nae mair o’ fechtin here.” That shook them to their toes.

Then swung roond fest and knocked baith oot Wi the dreep fae aff her nose.

Weel, they shook hands and erm in erm AIang' the road departed,

While al the crowd fae roondaboot Doon tae the Ship got started.

It wis' the biggest ceilidh That Jonner hid iver seen

It lasted ti11 the Tuesday nicht Wi' a barn dance inatween.

Weef , sae it ended happily, The twa o’ them wis freens,

An celebrations, they went on Wi’ a picnic at Sea Greens.

So if ye see oor Sandy Pitt Slne, get him on his own,

And he will tell ye a’ aboot THE BATTLE OI BANDRA LOAN.

Bill Wilkie

Abd.(D) 1915 H. Beaton At the Back o' Benachie 95:

Mistress Cushney is a brow cratur', sae we'll lat her aleen.

Ork. 1908 J. A. Pottinger in Old-Lore Misc., Ork., Sh., etc. I. v. 174:

He tuik her hame wi' him and a gey fashus job it wis for he cairried her a' the wey and she nearly cloored the lugs aff o' him i' her madrum.

Abd. c.1780 A. Watson Wee Wifeikie (1921) 7:

A dog, they ca' him Dousikie, If this be me he'll funge. Bnff. 1866 Gregor D. Bnff. 51:

She's eye foonging on him.

Ags. 1894 J. B. Salmond B. Bowden (1922) xiii.:

Jook's eggs at auchteen pence the dizzen. Dmf. 1903 J. L. Waugh Thornhill 138:

I can watch the wild jukes and stankies withoot them seein' me. Abd. 1920 G. P. Dunbar Peat Reek 16:

The jooks he dabbl't ower heid an' a' 'Twas nearly bye believin'.

To step doun, to come down or descend (from a place). (a) Hay Alex. 2462.

He steppit doun out of the trone;